


ICARUS

by Xanthorhiza



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, My First Smut, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:55:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22025935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xanthorhiza/pseuds/Xanthorhiza
Summary: He's like the sun, and I am Icarus. I feel as if I'm flying too close to the sun, but I find that I don't mind being burned.Simon and Baz @ Uni sharing a dorm. I suck at summaries.
Relationships: Dev/Niall (Simon Snow), Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 8
Kudos: 75





	1. SIMON

**SIMON**

I’m nervous. It kind of sucks that your only friends are girls and only one of them is going to attend the same university as you. I don’t understand why boys and girls can’t live in the same dorm room, as if that rule is going to stop college kids from having sex. It’s like they don’t understand the concept of homosexuality, or bisexuality, or even how easy it is to sneak into someone else’s room. Flawless logic, truly. 

I have just located my dorm room and I can feel my hands getting sweaty. I try to wipe them on my jeans but they’re sweaty seconds after again. I know how to small talk, I can be talkative and nice and all those things, but since I’m going to have to live with my dorm mate for a certain amount of time I feel pressured to make a good impression. What if he doesn’t like me? What if he _hates_ me?

I realize that I’ve been staring at the door in front of me for a suspicious amount of time, and so I decided that it’s now or never. I lift my hand to knock, and I do, quickly, before carefully pushing the door handle down and opening it to reveal my dorm room for the first time. 

As soon as I take the first step in it’s glaringly obvious that my roommate arrived quite sometime before me. One side is already made up and decorated minimalistically, whilst the other side is empty besides an unmade bed, an empty wardrobe and a desk. It’s small, as expected, but a perk of having applied for a dorm room early there’s an ensuite bathroom. I am infinitely relieved to not have to use the common bathrooms.

Then, suddenly, I see _him_.

He is, without a doubt, the prettiest guy I have ever seen. Pretty is not usually how I would describe a good looking guy, but he truly is pretty, beautiful even. Smooth skin, black, long, silky looking hair, slender frame. He has a regal feel to him, maybe because of his incredible posture (It looks kind of unnatural for someone to sit like that, but I find that I don’t mind). And then he looks at me.

His gaze is like steel, cold and hard, but maybe that’s because the color of his eyes is just pure grey. They’re enthralling, and I feel my heart struggle to beat evenly. I actually have to make an effort to suck in a breath before snapping back to reality and reaching out to greet him.

“Hi, um, I’m Simon,” I say and I try to smile but I don’t know if it looks as cool and collected as I had dreamt. “Basilton, but call me Baz.” Even his name sounds regal, _Basilton_. What kind of name is that? It’s weird, that’s what it is. Still, I don’t mind it, it actually kind of suits him. He shakes my hand firmly, a cold shock to my warm and sweaty hand. Thankfully he doesn’t mention anything about my hands being disgusting and I let out a shaky breath.

“I hope you don’t mind that I picked a side, I had some time to kill since I arrived earlier today.” I almost pull a muscle in my neck from whipping my head back around to look at Baz as to not miss anything he says. I also realize my mouth is hanging open and now I feel embarrassed. 

“No, um, I don’t mind. Don’t really have a preference,” I answer quickly, which is true. I don’t really know if it’s even possible to have a preference regarding which side of a room you want to sleep. “Tell me if, um, me unpacking is annoying or anything. I don’t want to disturb you,” I say as I nod to the book in his hands. He snaps the book shut and I shiver, I’ve never felt more out of place. 

“I’ve read it a million times, don’t worry. I might go visit my friends soon anyways, so feel free to unpack without stress.” His voice makes my stomach twist, it’s very unfair that he has to be my roommate. This instant attraction thing might be kind of difficult to battle with at the same time as I’m trying to be a good student. I already feel distracted.

“Okay, um, thanks,” I stutter out with a dumb smile before turning around to face my side of the room. I screw my eyes shut and take a deep breath. I decide that the best is to just try and unpack as quickly as possible and get everything in order to distract myself from the prettiest man alive behind me.

After I’ve managed to carry all of my boxes and bags into the room, which wasn’t that many really, I begin. I’m not really good at organizing, but I do my best to put everything away as neatly as I can manage. I hang the clothes that need to be hung, I fold the rest and sort them, sort of, into different drawers. I even manage to kind of organize my desk, even though that’s because I don’t have that many things to organize.

I jump when Baz clears his throat.

“I’m going to meet my friends for a bit, but I’ll see you later?” He sounds confident, but I can see that he’s uncertain regarding how to act. It makes me somehow feel more at peace. “Okay, I’ll be here.” I try to laugh confidently if that’s even a thing, but it comes out as a strangled and uncomfortable laugh. I feel mortified.

Baz nods stiffly before exiting. I immediately reach for my phone to text Penny.

**Simon 14.07**

_penny im freaking out help omg!!!!_

**nerdster 14.09**

_Stop being dramatic, what’s up?_

**Simon 14.09**

_its my roomie_

**Simon 14.10**

_penny he’s so pretty i might die_

**nerdster 14.10**

_Oooh, Simon’s got a crush already?_

**nerdster 14.10**

_What does he look like?_

**Simon 14.11**

_he’s the fittest bloke ive ever seen im dying_

**Simon 14.11**

_but it doesn’t matter because im panicking penny i cant look at him without feeling faint how am i supposed to live with this dude????? i wont survive a week pen!!!!!_

**nerdster 14.12**

_Calm down, loverboy. I’ve never heard of anyone dying from horniness._

**Simon 14.12**

_rude_

**Simon 14.12**

_ur not helping :(_

**nerdster 14.13**

_Sorry, Si. Want me to go to your room? I have already unpacked anyways._

**Simon 14.13**

_room 129 pls hurry :((((_

It doesn’t take long before the door opens. I startle at this, but I shouldn’t be surprised that she’s as comfortable as always and therefore not bothering to knock. 

“Help has arrived, how can I be of service today?” I can’t help but snort. “Penny, I’m in the middle of a crisis here, please spare me the mockery.” She smiles sweetly before laying down on my still unmade bed. “Si, this is hardly a crisis. A hot guy shouldn’t be able to ruin your life just by being fit. First off, is he nice? I think that’s more important,” she says before turning to lay on her side with a questioning look on her face.

“Well, yeah, I mean, I don’t know? We didn’t really talk much before he left. He did ask if I minded that he picked a side before I came, and he sort of said goodbye before going to meet his friends. That’s nice?” Penny laughs, but I know she’s not mocking me. I think.

“It’s not rude, so yes, nice. But you haven’t even told me his name?” I can’t believe _that_ is more important than my ongoing gay panic (or should I call it bi panic?). “He told me to call him Baz, but his full name is Basilton. It sounds weird but it kind of suits him, a little odd but a regal kind of odd, right?” I think I’m babbling. It might be because Baz’s face is still a prominent picture in my mind.

By the look on Penny’s face, I’m definitely babbling.

“Sure, odd but regal, that’s definitely a thing,” she says followed by a half-hearted snort. I feel my cheeks heat up. “But seriously, Si, it’s just a normal guy and yes you will have to live with him but I’m sure this crush, or whatever you want to call it, will probably die down after a couple of days, right? So let’s just get your room in order and make sure you’re ready for school, okay?” I smile and nod. Sure. I will definitely lose interested in the hottest guy alive in a couple of days.


	2. BAZ

**BAZ**

I’m panicking. As soon as I saw him my mouth went dry. I didn’t let my mouth hang open as he did (I shouldn’t find him being a mouth-breather attractive) but it absolutely felt like I did. He was jaw-droppingly hot, to be fair.

I usually don’t go for blond guys, but his blond curls looked so soft. His eyes were an ordinary blue, but somehow ordinary looked good on him. I couldn’t stop staring at his moles either (I wonder if he has them all over his body (I hope so)).

As soon as I thought it was acceptable for me to leave I did just that. I felt rude, but I honestly had a hard time not looking at him creepingly from my bed so leaving felt better. I hadn’t actually made any plans with Dev and Niall, so that was my first step to end my panic.

I quickly texted them both through our group chat asking them to meet me at a nearby coffee shop even though I know they won’t really help me. They might try, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they end up snogging whilst I try to take deep breaths but continuing to spiral.

Somehow they managed to beat me to the cafe as I find them already squished into one side of a booth closer than needed. Dev notices me first as Nialls face is hidden into his neck and I cringe. I don’t have anything against a little PDA, but I’m kind of sick of being the third wheel.

“Hiya, Baz,” Dev greets me, Niall's head snaps up. “You alright?” He says not even attempting to hide the flush of his cheeks from kissing Dev. “No,” I say flatly before sitting down. 

To my surprise and delight, a steaming cup of black coffee is on the table in front of me. “Thanks,” I say before lifting the cup and taking a sip. It burns, but I don’t care.

“What’s wrong, then? You wouldn’t tell us why we needed an ‘emergency meeting’ as you put it.” Both Dev and Niall do look confused as I haven’t given them any clue as to why I’m panicking. I sigh and straighten my back, a series of cracks following, before realizing that they can’t help unless they know.

“It’s my roommate,” I say as I fight the urge to fiddle with my cup of coffee. I don’t fiddle. Never. Dev and Niall still look confused, understandably. “I don’t get it, what about your roommate?” Dev asks with furrowed brows. “Is he rude or like, mean?” Niall snorts. “Yeah, is he gross? Does he smell disgusting? Is he Shrek?” Niall’s eyes go comically wide at the last guess and I glare at him. 

“On the contrary,” I start and I see that Dev is starting to understand. “He’s the most beautiful guy I have ever seen, and I’m not even exaggerating. I can’t live with him? How am I supposed to live with him and not stare at him? I’m going to freak him out or what if he’s homophobic? I can’t see this having any outcome other than disastrous.”

For a few seconds, it’s silent, besides the normal coffee shop-sounds of course, and then suddenly both Niall and Dev burst out laughing. I feel mortified, and their laughs are only making me feel worse. They’re laughing so hard that tears are starting to form in the corners of their eyes and feel like I shouldn’t have told them anything at all. They seem to notice because they stop laughing abruptly.

“Hey, Baz, we’re sorry, we didn’t mean to laugh but honestly, do you really think it’s that bad? Sure, it might feel awkward for a while but you can’t just let yourself panic like that.” Dev really tries, but I can’t say I feel any better yet. “Plus, dude, you’re hot. What if he thinks you’re hot, too and this panic-thing is totally unnecessary?” I almost choke on my coffee. 

”Or, you know, he might just be a chill dude that you can be friends with,” Niall chimes in with a smile. I sigh. Sure. Maybe I won’t find him insufferably attractive and we become the best of friends. Totally.

“Either way I don’t believe I gave off a very good first impression, so,” I trail off, never having an ending of my sentence, to begin with. Dev and Niall exchange semi-confused and semi-concerned looks and I have to fight the urge to roll my eyes. Pitches don’t roll their eyes.

“Looks like you two are happier than ever at least,” I say in hopes of steering the subject of conversation away from me. Niall kisses Dev on the cheek (a bit too long for me to be comfortable, but whatever) as to prove my observation correct. Dev blushes. I’m happy for them, but it doesn’t make me feel better.

This is why I end up leaving the coffee shop earlier than I myself had anticipated. I walk around for a bit feeling gloomy, but as always I try to walk with my head held high. I realize that I don’t have many options for what to do for the rest of the day, but I don’t know if I’m ready to be face to face to Simon again so soon.

I almost drag my feet in an effort to walk as slowly as possible back to my dorm. In reality, I’m excited to see him, (I will never admit it out loud) even though we have barely spoken. Is it creepy to just want to look at him? I want to count his moles. Preferably with my lips. Merlin, I feel like a pervert.

Sooner than I would have preferred I arrive outside of my dorm ( _our_ dorm). I feel flushed and nervous and I feel like turning around. My anxiety tells me that too many students have already walked by me standing creepily in front of the door for it to be normal for me to leave. I manage to take a big breath (I feel as though I’m walking in to meet my doom) before I finally open the door and make my way inside.

To my surprise, Simon is not alone.

I find him with a girl beside him helping him make his bed, it looks like. She has brown hair collected in a low ponytail and the first thing I notice when she turns around are her purple glasses. Odd, but they suit her, I conclude. Before I can react, though, she’s standing right in front of me with her hand held out.

“Hi, I’m Simon’s friend, Penelope,” she says, her tone is polite but I feel like she’s already trying to figure out my life story. “Basilton,” I say as I take her hand and shake it. “But call me Baz, please,” I add at the last second. Seeing her has thrown me off. 

“Nice to meet you, Baz. Sorry to be intruding on your space but Simon and I are about done soon and I will be out of both of your hair.” She turns around again and goes back to helping Simon who has just stood awkwardly behind her during our brief meeting. His cheeks look pink, but I dismiss it as him being warm from preparing his side of the dorm.

It looks less empty now than when I left, which isn’t surprising. It’s still plain, but something tells me Simon isn’t that interested in interior design. I quite like decorating, but it’s not something I audibly express. He and Penny are chatting casually as I decide to take a shower to possibly clear my mind. Hopefully, my mind won’t be as occupied by those damn blonde curls and the adorable moles.


	3. SIMON

**SIMON**

When the door closes behind Baz I already know that Penny is going to attack me with her thoughts, so I lay down on my bed with my face in my pillow and prepare for the assault.

“Oh my god, you weren’t exaggerating?” She sounds so surprised. “I mean, not my type, but super attractive nonetheless.” I roll my eyes into the pillow (he’s definitely _my_ type). “Do you know if he likes guys? He looks the part,” Penny says and at this, I turn my head to frown at her. “Wow, stereotyping much?” I say, maybe a bit harsher than necessary. Penny doesn’t seem to notice my tone, and if she did she ignores it. 

“Absolutely, but you get what I’m saying.” I huff out a breath. “Not the point, the point is that you shouldn’t guess people’s sexual orientation based on their appearance, okay?” Penny smiles. “You’re right, I’m sorry. But still, do you know? I’m guessing you don’t based on your little panic moment before.” I feel like she’s talking more to herself than to me. I don’t answer.

“I think you should go for it, or at least get to know him better to see if there’s more to it than physical attraction. Personality trumps looks, you know,” she hums as she goes around my side of the room moving things back and forth trying to, I think, decorate with what little trinkets I have. It’s not many.

“I’m not just going to ask him if he’s gay and then propose we go out for coffee as if that’s totally normal. Just, thank you for your help but your services are no longer needed. You may leave, Penelope.” She scoffs, but I know she doesn’t take it personally as I don’t mean any harm. “Okay, Mr. Snow, give me a ring if you need anything else,” she says as she moves to the door. She gives a last little wave and laughs before leaving.

I’m left laying on my bed listening to the sound of the running water coming from the bathroom. He’s been in there a while, but I don’t mind. I hope that him being in the shower means that he hasn’t heard me and Penny’s conversation (if you can call her talking mostly to herself a conversation). I feel my cheeks redden at just the thought of him hearing anything that was just said.

It is kind of relaxing listening to the water and I feel myself start to zone out. I’m just lying there staring at the ceiling when suddenly the bathroom door opens. Automatically my eyes snap over and then I can’t breathe. His hair is wet around his face and a water droplet is making its way down the middle of his chest before disappearing under his shirt. I try to swallow but my throat is dry and all I can do is close my eyes. 

”You alright there?” Baz asks and I furrow my brows to feign exhaustion. I don’t know if it works. “Yeah, tired, s’all,” I say quietly before looking up at the ceiling again as to not stare at Baz. “Big day, didn’t sleep well last night, recipe for disaster.” I see him nod in my peripheral vision and I wish I could turn and look at him. I can’t. I don’t.

But then he speaks to me again.

“What’s your major, then?” He sounds so confident, casual, and keeps on with whatever he’s doing on his side. I make the mistake to look at him and his back is turned towards me. My _god_ , his ass is _perfect_. Even though he is wearing jeans, they are _tight_ , so tight that I can clearly see the shape of his ass and to memorize it. It’s burned into my retinas now.

“Uhm,” I say before I awkwardly clear my throat and sit up. I take my pillow and lay it in my lap, just in case. “Culinary, um, arts,” I say and my throat is closing, “Baking.” Baz turns to look at me with an arched brow and my stomach flips. “Really? Didn’t peg you for a baker,” he says and I can’t say I haven’t heard it before.

“Yeah, that’s what most people say. I’ve been baking forever, I actually work at a cafè, but I’m mostly a waiter there. The owner is a friend of mine, Ebb, she’s taught me everything I know,” I’m babbling, I hear it. I can’t stop even though I feel as if I’m about to stop breathing because Baz looks at me with those fucking eyes and I want him to keep looking at me forever. 

“The cafè is called Ebb’s Cottage and it’s really close to here, I practically grew up in there eating sour cherry scones all day every day,” I say and I already feel myself craving some right now. “Sour cherry scones? Never had one,” Baz says and I stare at him.

“You’ve never had a sour cherry scone? You have not lived!” I say and then I turn beet red and I feel the embarrassment washing over me. “No, can’t say I have. I’m guessing it must be really good based on your reaction, though,” Baz says, and I think he’s trying to suppress some laughter. “They’re my favorite, I think I could eat only sour cherry scones for the rest of my life,” I say with a smile, I don’t know if it’s enough to mask my embarrassment. I hope so.

“Then I’d have to try some, some time,” Baz concludes and punctuates with a nod. I don’t know why but I check the time on my phone. It’s only five in the afternoon, but I’m feeling peckish, and I wonder if Baz does too. “I was, um, actually planning on going there today, you can come with? If you’d like, of course,” I rush out the last part as to not come on too strong, but I don’t think it helped much. _Merlin_ , I seem so desperate. I probably am.

To my surprise, after a small pause, Baz nods and offers a small smile before saying, “Yeah, alright.” My heart skips a beat (even though I know that’s not an actual thing I can’t describe it any other way) and I smile back to big. I can’t help it. “Yeah? Well, you want to go right now, or?” I drift hoping that my excitement isn’t going to scare him off. 

“Yeah, sure, just give me a second to see that I’ve got everything,” Baz says as he stands up and grabs what looks like a wallet and a phone. I immediately do the same before discreetly (I think) checking for any tell on my lower half regarding my attraction to the bloke in front of me. Luckily, it doesn’t seem to be so noticeable (I hope).

I feel less nervous than when the day started, but different nervous are making me squirm. I want to make an impression, I want Baz to like me, desperately. Hopefully he likes the scones and Ebb’s, too. That would be a dream come true.

“Ready?” I ask. I feel as if I’m asking myself more than Baz. “Yeah, lead the way.”

It feels good to walk with him beside me. It almost feels familiar, as if we’ve done so before. We talk, I find out he’s majoring in English and his last name’s Grimm-Pitch. I tell him mine’s Salisbury. We compete regarding whose middle name’s is worse, he wins. Tyrannus is somehow worse than Snow.

“I can’t believe your name is Tyrannus, it sounds like Tyrannosaurus , right?” I say and I can’t conceal the laughter bubbling up. “I know, kind of sucked when growing up but I wouldn’t change it,” he says and I don’t ask about his childhood. It’s not the right time.

It doesn’t take long until we enter Ebb’s cafè and I hold the door for Baz. I think I see him blush, but I might be wrong. 

Ebb sees me, us, as soon as we walk in. I can see a glint in her eyes, she’s curious. I can’t blame her. I walk over to the counter and lean over to give her a hug, she’s one of my closest friends despite the age different. She’s almost like a second mom.

“Hi Simon, how was your moving day?” She says with a big smile. “Good, yeah, this is actually my roommate,” I say and I move a bit to the right to introduce them to each other. “Baz, this is Ebb. Ebb, this is Baz,” I say. Baz is quick to extend his hand for a shake.

“Nice to meet you, Simon has already bragged about your amazing baking skills,” he says and I feel the blush creeping up on me again. Ebb looks flattered. “Well, Simon is the real master baker. Would you boys like some scones and tea?” 

I order sour cherry scones for us, Baz orders some Earl Grey tea, so I get the same. Soon enough we are sitting across from each other in a corner. Just like when we were walking, it feels natural.

“I can’t say I’ve ever been here before,” Baz says whilst looking around. “Usually I prefer to make coffee and tea at home, so that might be why.” I don’t know what to answer, I’m too busy just looking at him. 

Luckily our scones and tea soon arrives, Ebb herself acting as the waiter even though she usually never leaves the counter or kitchen.

“Here you go, boys. Let me know if you need anything else, okay?” She pats my shoulder and I smile brightly at her. “Of course, thank you Ebb.” She ruffles my hair like she did when I was younger before leaving. I feel my cheeks heat up, I’m a little embarrassed. Baz doesn’t comment.

I distract myself by grabbing a scone and slathering on more butter than necessary because why not? I _love_ butter.

“That’s a lot of butter,” Baz comments, I can hear a laugh trying to escape. “I know, I love butter, maybe too much.” He laughs for real this time. “Is it required to eat these scones with that amount of butter? I’m not sure I can eat that.” He points to my scone with already melting butter running down the sides. 

“Of course not, Ebb’s scones are good without anything, so it’s up to you,” I say before catching some melted butter and sucking my thumb in my mouth. I _love_ butter.


	4. BAZ

**BAZ**

The way Simon sucks the butter off his thumb is borderline pornographic. I almost choke on my tea (bastard). My whole body reacts and I really hope we are staying a while. I don’t want to stand up with tented pants (I would rather die). Especially since he only had to suck his thumb for me to become aroused.

This is going to be a problem.

To distract myself I grab a scone and spread some butter on it (much less than Simon, I could never eat that much butter). When I take a bite I understand his love of them, they are _delicious_. I tell him.

“Yeah?” He looks so happy with twinkling eyes and my heart hurts from how cute it is. I want to be the reason for that look, always.

“Yeah, best scones I’ve ever had,” I admit. My heart sings when he grins.

“I told you!” All I can do is smile back. 

“Are you as good at making scones, then?” I ask before taking another bite. I don’t really like eating in front of people, especially strangers, but Simon doesn’t seem to notice my hesitance. It makes me relax. Growing up in a house where your elbows were slapped when they were on the dining table kind of forms the way you eat. I suppose that was on purpose.

“No, but I would like to say that I’m pretty close. Ebb says I’m just as good as her, but I’ll never be as good. She’s amazing.” He speaks of her as both a friend and a mother, and it makes me wonder if she might have been acting as a second mother to him. I don’t ask him.

“I could bake you something, sometime.” I snap out of my thoughts at that and see the blush creeping down his neck. I want to lick it. “I’d like that,” I say and hope that my pale skin doesn’t turn as red as Simon’s. 

“You like sweets?” He asks and I nod. “Too much, one might say. I don’t eat many sweets, it’s hard to stop once I’ve started.” I don’t know why I admit such a childlike behavior, but Simon just smiles at me with warmth lighting up his features. It makes my insides burn.

“I like savory things more, but I’m the best at baking cakes. I’m even a fair cake decorator,” he says whilst pulling up his phone. Not soon after I’m greeted with an Instagram page, presumably Simon’s own page, which is filled with hundreds of pictures of baked goods. He’s more than a fair cake decorator; he’s amazing. 

“You’re really good, Simon,” I say before meeting his gaze. He looks happy. Warm. Like the sun. “You really think so?” I can’t get any words out, so I nod dumbly. “It’s really fun and even relaxing. Sometimes it’s very stressful, but most of the time it’s almost like I’m meditating. I don’t think too much when baking or decorating.”

I listen to him intently, never taking my eyes off him for more than a second at a time. I listen to him for a long time, but I don’t mind. He’s radiating, it’s clear that baking truly is his passion. I’m melting. 

“I’m sorry, I’ve been talking forever, tell me something about you,” he says out of nowhere and I’m forced out of my trance. I don’t know what to say. I say the first thing I can think of, “I play the violin.” Simon raises his eyebrows and I regret telling him.

“Really? The violin? Are you good?” I snort. “I think I’m alright, at least. I have been playing since I was little,” I explain. I don’t remember exactly why I chose the violin, but I have always loved the sound of it. It’s beautiful. 

”I could play something for you sometime if you’d like.” I surprise myself by offering to play for him. I don’t know why I did it. Simon surprises me with that incredibly joyful face. “Yeah? That’d be great. You can play the violin and I can bake some scones for you.” 

My heart can’t handle his cuteness. I have never referred to another guy as cute, but right now it fits Simon so well. 

“That sounds like a good plan.” I don’t know if I sound as enthusiastic as I feel, but I also don’t want to sound overeager. I don’t want to scare him away.

We keep on talking for a long time, but when we’ve eaten more scones than we should have and the tea is finished we decide to go home. _Our home._

We both reach for the door and our hands touch, but I don’t comment on it (even though it creates an itch in my hand to take his hand in mine).

Simon excuses himself to take a shower and even though I want to be with him as much as possible I’m kind of relieved when the bathroom door closes behind him. I need a second to compose myself, just his presence has made me dizzy and I feel almost giddy.

This is also when I realize that I desperately need to vent to someone and I immediately pull up the group chat I have with Dev and Niall again.

**Baz 18.02**   
_I just had tea and scones with Simon._

**Baz 18.02**

_He’s a baker and he’s nice and I think I might die._

**Dev 18.03**

_Drama queen_

**Niall 18.03**

_Just put you in as Lover Boy in my contacts_

**Dev 18.04**

_I second that_

**Baz 18.05**

_Twats_

**Baz 18.05**

_Again, not helping_

**Niall 18.06**

_Poor baby, did it not go well, dear?_

**Dev 18.06**

_Oh darling, does he not like you back?_

**Baz 18.07**

_I will ignore your comments revealing your feigned interest and continue expressing my problem. I am expecting proper aid this time, please._

**Baz 18.08**

_My problem is that I felt like he might be interested, but I don’t know if I’m reading him right. He said he would bake me scones if I played my violin for him. It never got awkward and he’s really easy to talk to. But at the same time that’s all just friendly, really. What if I’m just making his interest up in my head?_

**Dev 18.09**

_Who should tell him, you or me Ni?_

**Niall 18.09**

_You can do it, babe_

**Baz 18.10**

_What the fuck are you guys on about?_

**Dev 18.11**

_You’re not making it up, dude. Are you dumb? Of course, he’s interested, helloooo_

**Dev 18.11**

_You just had a “date” on which he (and you) flirted, that’s showing interest_

**Niall 18.12**

_Bet he wants to shag your brains out_

**Baz 18.13**

_Shut the fuck up_

**Baz 18.14**

_... Do you really think he’s interested?_

**Dev 18.15**

_You absolute idiot, of course_

**Niall 18.15**

_What Dev said_

**Baz 18.16**

_But how in the fucking hell do I go on from here, then? I know nothing about this sort of thing. And you two have no place to call me incompetent, on the contrary, I am very intelligent. Sadly, the same can’t be said about the two of you._

**Niall 18.17**

_Ouchie Bazzy, that hurt :(_

**Dev 18.18**

_Baz, seriously, just keep up what you’re doing. Hang out, flirt, make him see that you’re just as interested in him as he clearly is in you._

**Baz 18.19**

_Sure. Thank you._

I don’t actually feel much better even though they managed to keep me entertained for twenty minutes. When I see that it has in fact been twenty minutes I realize that the shower is _still_ running. What is taking Simon so long?


	5. SIMON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever and still it's such a short chapter. I'm sorry. But hey, it's in time for Valentine's day!!

**SIMON**

As soon as the door is shut and locked behind me I take a deep breath. My clothes are off within seconds and I don’t hesitate to step under the ice-cold shower stream. It’s so cold it almost hurts, but I desperately need to cool off. I feel feverish and Baz is to blame.

To say that he’s to blame doesn’t feel right but I do know he’s the reason why I feel like I’m burning up. His perfect hair, his perfect skin, his perfect eyes. Everything about him just seems to be so perfect and my body can’t help but react.

I see his smile when I close my eyes. He was smiling the entire time I was going on and on about baking as if he was actually listening and enjoying it, too. 

I see the way his eyes turned silver in the sunlight when we walked to the café. I see his ass in those fucking jeans. My hand moves on its own and I can’t help myself. I lose myself in his laugh. In his honesty. The slight posh tone of his voice. 

Soon enough I’m panting. I am hot all over and I feel as though I’m harder than I have ever been in my life. I don’t want to admit it but with Baz being right outside the door is turning me on _more_ (although I don’t see how that is even possible).

When I come I have to stifle my outdrawn groan even though it feels like an inhuman task (I think I managed). The water quickly washes the evidence away and I’m stricken by a sudden pang of guilt in my gut.

I just wanked to the thought of my roommate with said roommate present on the other side of the door. I feel disgusting. 

I scrub my skin almost raw and shampoo my hair twice to see if it would help (it didn’t). When I finally leave the bathroom I realize I’ve been in there for almost half an hour and I feel my cheeks heat up. 

I hurry over to my closet and pull out some clothes to wear to bed later. I glance over my shoulder at Baz. He’s reading a book on his bed, he hasn’t even acknowledged that I’ve come back into the room again. I feel that if I dress quickly he won’t even realize that I’m naked with nothing but a towel to cover myself.

I dress in record time before hanging my towel on one of the two towel hooks in the shower before returning to the room to plop down on my bed.

When I look over at Baz I realize that he has, in fact, noticed me by now. If I didn’t know any better I would say a faint blush is spreading across his cheeks but I brush it off (I hope he wasn’t offended by me dressing in the room).

“Everything alright?” I say as I pull up my phone. I have some missed text messages from Penny, even one from Agatha. I don’t feel like responding right this second.

“Yeah, no, yeah, ehm…” Baz sounds flustered, and somehow he makes it attractive (it’s really unfair). He clears his throat (maybe a frog was hiding in there) before he looks at me again and this time he looks just as collected as always.

”I was texting my friends and they're just being stupid, as always.” He seems a bit embarrassed (it’s cute). “My friends are like that, too. Especially Penny,” I say in hopes of making him less embarrassed. 

”Not to be rude or anything, but she did seem to be the type.” I can’t help but laugh. “Not rude, perceptive.” I don’t think he’s being rude in the slightest, and I hope by telling him so he won’t think I think it was rude (Again, I don’t, I didn’t).

“She seems nice, though,” Baz continues. I’m glad he wants to keep talking to me (or is he just being polite?). “Does she go here, too? Considering she had no trouble coming in and finding you in this maze.” 

I stifle my snort that’s trying to escape, barely. “Yeah, she does. Although, I think she’d have no problem finding me even if she didn’t go here. Honestly, I think she could find me anywhere and it kind of scares me,” I say and laugh. “But, uhm, don’t tell her that.”

Baz smiles at me and my heart flutters. It softens his hard and sharp features and if I wasn’t sitting already my knees would buckle. Should I be worried by my extreme reactions to Baz just existing? Being near him for this long must be making me weak, somehow.

“I won’t, then.”

“And your friends, then? Do they go here as well?” I feel kind of stupid having to repeat the question back to Baz, but I have troubles thinking clearly even without a hot bloke in front of me so the odds aren’t really in my favor at the moment (The fact that I’m even saying _words_ right now is impressive). 

“Dev does, but Niall’s not going to uni, at least not right now. He’s not really the… studious type,” Baz says and I can tell he’s considering whether or not to explain further. “He likes to party, but Dev is keeping him somewhat grounded now that they’re dating.” 

I didn’t know his friends were dating, or that they’re gay (or bi or pan or just into each other no labels needed). It somehow makes me feel better, more comfortable because now I at least know that he’s not a homophobe or anything. It’s not a sign that he himself is into blokes but it sure does fuel my fantasies.

“That’s good, yeah? I guess that’s why that phrase came up, you know the ‘two halves of one person’ thing.” I feel dumb. Why’d I had to go and say that for? He’s going to think I’m cheesy and lame, possibly cringe-y. 

“I guess so, although they can be eerily similar regarding some things like preferences in food or music. But still, I get what you mean. If I say that to them they might never stop snogging, I’d think they’d agree with you,” Baz says with his smooth, low voice. My skin prickles. The way he talks about them makes it clear he really cares about them.

“For your sake maybe we, ehm, shouldn’t say that to them?” I laugh, he does too. I feel faint. He shakes his head and a black strand of hair falls in his face. Baz quickly fixes it but I wish that he hadn’t. I think I would like it better if he let his hair fall freely around his face. The image of that makes me smile, but when it suddenly changes to Baz’s hair being tousled and all over the place against a pillow I feel my cheeks heat up. Yeah, I think I’d like that.


	6. BAZ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really short and really bad chapter <3

**BAZ**

When Simon suddenly exits the bathroom I pretend to be reading (I don’t think he notices). However, _I_ sure as hell notice the fact that someone forgot to bring clothes with him to the bathroom.

And Merlin, Morgana, and Methuselah, it truly is a sight to behold.

Simons tawny skin is glistening from the water droplets slowly making their way down over his back and chest. His muscles flex with every move and I’m practically salivating. He dresses quickly (too quickly, in my opinion) and I’m so busy trying to hide my sudden erection that I barely notice Simon noticing me. My cheeks flush.

It takes far too long for my body to stop betraying me, but after some chatting my body calms down and I regain control over both vocal cords and the rest of my body, even my brain (somewhat). This, of course, is slightly disrupted again when Simon goes and decides to be cheesy and romantic and I’m immediately hot all over. I wasn’t aware of me being so incredibly weak for those sorts of things, romance, and fluffy-shit. Or, maybe it’s more the Simon part than the romance part. Either way, I’m weak and it’s embarrassing. 

Later when Simon’s snoring is filling up the room I’m laying on my side watching him. I feel like a creep, like a pervert, but I can't stop. I can't sleep so I figure that's a good excuse as to why I'm watching him like some sort of predator. 

He’s beautiful when he’s sleeping, too. It’s unfair. His hair is messy, his lips parted. His blanket is only half-covering his body and if I believed in God I would thank them for making it so that Simon sleeps without a shirt. He even asked me if it was okay since he, in his own words, “runs hot”. I could only nod and agree. He sure does run hot.

He sighs in his sleep and I freeze. At first, I think he’s waking up, but soon his snoring only amplifies in volume. I let out a shaky breath. I need to stop looking at him. I need to stop invading his privacy. This is lunacy.

I don’t know how long it takes, but eventually, I fall asleep to the sound of Simons breaths. The next morning I feel more rested than I have felt in years.

The following two weeks I wake up feeling that good every single morning. It’s strange, really. Back home I have expensive beddings and an exclusive bed, yet here, in this crappy dorm bed, I sleep like a baby. I don’t want to admit it, but my gut says it has to do with Simon. I feel like a creep, but it must be so.

The start of term hasn’t been as stressful as I thought it’d be. With the suspicious amount of sleep, getting classes haven’t been so hard to attend. The workload. whilst heavy has been easier to carry with how easy everything else seems. I’m _happy_ , and it feels as if it’s the first time ever. I haven’t felt this good ever.

I’m sitting with Dev and Niall in a booth at the college diner Joey’s Burgers. Dev and Niall have now not only polished off their own meals but the rest of mine as well. We’re debating whether or not to order dessert when suddenly I hear my name being called out embarrassingly loud and by the golden voice plaguing my dreams. 

“Baz, hey!” Simon Salisbury is calling my name as his life depended on it and his cheeks are rosy. It’s getting cold out, sure, but my guess is that that’s not why his face is so endearingly flushed. 

With him his Penelope, I recognize her immediately. But on the other side of him, slightly behind him even, is a tall and beautiful woman. Her hair is long and flowing, her hair regimen must be nearly religious. She’s gorgeous. I know immediately that it’s Agatha, Simon’s other friend he’s told me all about.

It’s slightly awkward, all of our respective friends thrust upon each other by a complete chance. I try to make it less weird by standing up and reaching my hand out towards the blonde girl and I even make an effort to smile, I really want her to like me because that might make Simon like me more.

“Basilton,” I say as she takes my hand. “You must be Agatha, Simon has told me all about you. I must say he didn’t embellish when he told me how beautiful you are,” I don’t know if I stepped over a line but Agatha blushes and flutters with her eyelashes. “Why, thank you, Basilton”. Simon’s smile isn’t as bright when I meet his gaze.

“Join us, we just finished our meal but we were debating whether or not we were going to order something sweet,” I look at Simon and smile. I’d rather have him as my after-dinner treat, but that would be inappropriate. This time I believe Simon is blushing, but I don’t want to get too excited about a maybe.

“Well, I never say no to something sweet,” Agatha says with the sweetest voice I’ve ever heard. Minutes later we’re all sitting in the booth and to my delight, Simon is by my side, close but somehow not close enough. His thigh is pressed against mine and it feels like my body is on fire. I love it.

We order cheesecake and milkshakes and I feel as if I’m in some terrible teen movie. Despite that feeling, I find myself actually having fun. Niall and Agatha get along like a house on fire discussing the latest makeup trends whilst Dev and Penny somehow get engaged in some political discussion that I don’t even dare impose on.

That, however, leaves me with Simon, not alone but not a part of their separate conversations. I back up slightly, leaning against the wall of the booth to look at the golden boy beside me with more ease. The tips of his ears are read, just like his nose and cheeks. He’s beautiful.

“So, unplanned but not unwelcome turn of events. What have you been up to today, Snow?”


	7. SIMON

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexual tension? No just some embarrassing stuttering, please

**SIMON**

I’m feeling amazing, have been for a while. School is tough, really tough, but I like it. I’m having a lot of fun, too. We’re celebrating today, even though nothing really special has happened or even is happening, but somehow celebrating just going to school feels right.

I’m not usually the drinking type, but we do manage to get our hands on some beers and I’m not going to lie, I get kind of tipsy. It’s not my fault, though. I never drink and even though I’m not the skinny light-weight one might think would get tipsy off of one drink I can feel the small amount of alcohol in my system making my cheeks flush and my feet are harder to control.

Sometime during our little celebration-party for three decide to go to the diner that’s right next to campus. I find myself craving a burger and some fries, or maybe a milkshake? I heard they have really good cheesecake as well. I love food, so all of those things sound good right now. Even Agatha seems to crave something sweet.

We walk towards the diner and it takes us much longer than it usually would. We’re laughing loudly, probably annoying everybody we pass, but I find that I don’t care. Instead, I just feel happy, almost giddy. I’m even so busy being happy that as we enter the diner that it takes me a second to notice the man that has been in my dreams for weeks.

“Baz, hey!” I call out, probably too loud but who cares, and I see him look right at me. He looks so pretty (even though there’s a shocked look on his face at the moment). I don’t even check to see if Agatha and Penny are okay with us sitting with them, I don’t even think about that Baz might not want me to sit with him and his friends. Instead, I just make my way over to him. I’m drawn to him in such a way that others don’t matter and it should scare me but right now I just want to be close to him.

When we stop in front of their booth Baz has already stood up and his hand is already reaching out towards Agatha. 

“Basilton,” He says as they shake hands. “You must be Agatha, Simon has told me all about you. I must say he didn’t embellish when he told me how beautiful you are,” he continues and I regret ever even mentioning Agatha to him. She is beautiful, truly, but that doesn’t mean my insides don’t coil at the thought of Baz ever choosing her over me. Not that he has or ever will choose me, but I really hope it never will be because of Agatha. I feel myself frown and I can’t really make it go away.

Baz looks at me for a split second and his smile falters as well and I hope murder isn’t in my eyes. I feel jealous even though I know he’s just being polite and he isn’t _mine_. 

“Join us, we just finished our meal but we were debating whether or not we were going to order something sweet,” Baz says and I feel the jealousy slowly dissipate - he never once looked at Agatha during his invitation. The thought of him only having eyes for me makes me blush (I hope he it’s not noticeable). 

“Well, I never say no to something sweet,” Agatha says and I have to restrain myself from scrunching up my face. I love Agatha, I really do, but I hate how easy it is to tell when she’s decided to flirt. Her voice turns sickeningly sweet and she gets all touchy. The fact that she’s flirting with Baz is probably why it’s making me bubble with irritation. I usually just let her do her thing, but right now I can’t stand it.

To my delight, I end up in the corner of the booth with Baz next to me. I don’t really pay attention to the others, but it does seem like everyone is getting along with each other very well. Suddenly Baz shifts in his seat leaning back more and he looks at me with those piercing grey eyes of his and I almost start to shiver.

“So, unplanned but not unwelcome turn of events. What have you been up to today, Snow?”

I do hear the question, but it takes me an embarrassingly long time to realize that I’m just staring at him with my mouth agape instead of answering him. I accidentally let a giggle past my lips and my face is burning. Is it hot in here?  
“Well, uh, we, uh,” I’m practically stuttering. “After school we, um, met up to, I don’t know, uhm,” I'm sweating. “Like, we’re celebrating school? Kind of? Like, it not being so bad?” It sounds so dumb to say it out loud and I really just feel like leaving and dropping out of school as to never have to face Baz again. Then, Baz laughs.

I love it when he laughs. I feel like he doesn’t do it nearly enough. And even now, when I sound completely incompetent, it is never a mocking laugh. It makes me smile, wide and bright.

“I think that is an absolutely perfect reason to celebrate. I myself find the start of term to be less stressful than I thought it’d be,” Baz says and I feel myself relax slightly. It’s not like we haven’t spoken the past couple of weeks, of course we have, but whenever I see him I get tongue-tied. He’s just so fucking fit.

“Yeah, much more good, uhm, better, uhm,” I laugh nervously and I feel sweat at the bottom of my spine. How embarrassing. I need to take a shower but I can’t leave now. “I mean, I thought it would be much worse than it is. It’s tough, but uhm, yeah, not as tough as I thought,” I say and I feel proud of how I managed to construct at least a few sentences. 

I manage to keep this ‘winning streak’ up for quite some time. We share cheesecakes and milkshakes between all of us and Baz keeps pressing his thigh up against mine and I feel warm and giddy. I don’t know if he does it on purpose, but either way, it makes me feel short of breath and hot all over. 

It’s almost midnight as Baz unlocks the door to our room. I still can’t believe that I had the luck to be rooming with someone like him. Not only is he insanely attractive, but he’s smart and nice and even funny (I didn’t take him for the funny type when I first saw him). 

He lets me inside before following me and turning on the light. I throw myself on my bed but he stays standing by the door after locking it. He looks at me and I instinctively maneuver my body as to not lay like a starfish on my bed. His steely gaze is so penetrating that I want to look away, but I can’t. _Why is he staring at me like that?_


	8. BAZ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, this is my first ever attempt at any kind of smut and I'm actually scared so please be nice okay thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is my first ever attempt at any kind of smut and I'm actually scared so please be nice okay thanks

**BAZ**

I can’t stop staring at him. He’s staring back at me with those ordinary blue eyes and I feel my pulse pick up its speed. I want to kiss him. I _need_ to kiss him. But what if I have read him wrong? All night it felt like he tried to press himself up against me like he only had eyes for me. I saw his blush and he laughed nervously. It must be because of me, right? Or was he just really intoxicated? He didn’t really slur his words, and his pupils weren’t dilated. But what if?

Simon slowly starts to sit up and I gulp (how dramatic, (pathetic, I know)). He isn’t smiling anymore, but he doesn’t seem angry either. I can’t read him and it makes me unbelievably uncomfortable. I never have trouble reading people. Or, I do, probably more than I think. And of course, now would be a good time to realize.

We haven’t said a word since entering the room and I feel like I can’t breathe. Simon is standing up, agonizingly slowly, and I watch his body move. I’ve never seen someone move so slow and my whole body is frozen. This time when our eyes meet his pupils are dilated, and I shiver.

”Everything alright?” His voice is calm, too calm, and I feel like I can’t breathe. I thought I could handle this but right now I don’t think I can. “Yeah, uhm, too much sugar I think,” I burst out before quickly making my way to the bathroom.

I lock the door and lean back against it. I almost feel like crying (almost) but I don’t. Instead, I stand in front of the mirror and open the tap before splashing water on my face. My shirt, one of my favorite floral ones, gets soaked through where it’s sitting on my forearms because splashing water in your face isn’t as graceful as one might think it’d be.

So here I am, water-soaked and flustered, scared shitless to leave the bathroom and somehow immensely turned on. My slim jeans are doing nothing but make this whole ordeal even more uncomfortable than it already is and sometimes I wish I wasn’t gay. I mean, I don’t want to change who I am, but some situations like living in gendered dorms might be easier. But how would I know?

My hands are cramped around the edge of the sink and I know I’m overreacting. Simon not breaking eye contact doesn’t mean that he wants to have super-hot super-gay sex (even though one can hope) and nor does it mean that he wants to murder me. Still, I find myself slightly panicking. It happens sometimes when I get overwhelmed, but it doesn’t happen as much anymore.

When I was younger my anxiety was unbearable and the panic attacks were frequent, but years of therapy later and maturity have made everything calm down. But now, Simon is wreaking havoc within me and apparently I can’t handle it. He hasn’t even done anything. _I_ haven’t even tried to do anything. But I want to, I want to so badly it hurts.

I jump when there’s a knock on the bathroom door. 

“Baz, are you okay?” Simon’s voice is soft, calm and I snap my head up. Of course, he’s wondering what the fuck just happened. We stared at each other until I bolted to the bathroom like some kind of lunatic. Clearly it was a staring match I lost.

I don’t know how to answer him. I’m not okay, but I’m also okay in the sense that I’m not hurt or dying or something awful like that. I close my eyes and try to focus on my breathing, counting the seconds between each breath until I feel my pulse slowing down and my muscles stop cramping. 

“Yeah,” I croak out, he’s probably not even outside the door anymore. That’s when I hear and exhale. “Good, I thought you died on me for a second there.” I snort. I _snort_. How embarrassing.  
Despite the unattractive pig noise I just made I make myself ready to once again face the actual man of my dreams. I stand in front of the door, inspecting the door handle and the signs of age on the tile around me. Then, I open the door.

Simon is standing right outside, his face actually filled with worry. I didn’t expect him to actually worry about me, the roommate that was thrust upon him mere weeks ago. He looks at me once again with his blue eyes, although they look more grey in the terrible lighting in our room, and once again we’re staring at each other. I feel like I can’t breathe, again.

Then, he kisses me.

I don’t fully register it until his lips are pushed against mine and his hand is coming up to hold my neck. I gasp into his mouth and suddenly I feel his tongue. I’m still panicking, now more because I’m terrifyingly aware of the fact that I have never kissed anyone before. I don’t know if I’m doing anything really, am I a terrible kisser? Probably.

Suddenly, Simon moans. It sends a shock through my entire body and I shiver before something makes me grab a hold of his waist. I pull him towards me, harder than I meant to, and then my back meets the wall beside the bathroom door. A “hmph” slips out of me and suddenly Simon has backed a few inches. I want to cry.

“You okay?” he asks, I feel his breath on my face, he’s still so close. “Yeah, perfect,” I answer and I meet his eyes. My stomach flips, I kiss him again.

I wish I could say it was perfect, but my technique is far from it. But the feeling, the _feeling_ is perfect. His lips slot so gently against mine and he tastes like chocolate and raspberries from the milkshakes and cheesecake. I’m absolutely losing my mind at how his hands are all over me. They’re in my hair, at my waist, on my stomach and every touch feels electric. I almost feel faint.

It’s even more mind-blowing when Simon starts to nip and lick at my jaw and then down to my neck. An embarrassingly loud moan leaves my lips and I feel him smiling against my neck. His body is now pressed up against mine and I know he can feel how hard I am because I can feel him. 

I feel like I’m going to die, but at least I’m going to die kissing Simon.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since I first saw you, you’re so hot,” Simon breathes in my ear before nipping at the shell of it and I almost come just from that. “Yeah?” Is all I can say. My eyes are tightly shut and my breathing is ragged. “Yeah.”

His lips find mine again and I kiss him back even harder than before. I don’t know what’s come over me but now that I have him here, kissing me, I’m not going to let go. 

When Simon starts to unbutton my shirt I don’t protest (why would I?) but something makes him stop. I almost let out an impatient whine. “S’alright if I-“ he says, and I’m guessing that he meant to ask if it was okay for him to remove my shirt. I nod embarrassingly quick and mere milliseconds after his fingers are back to fiddling with the buttons.

lt takes him a minute, but a couple of swears under his breath later he slides the shirt down my shoulders and arms. The air in the room feels cold against my skin but Simon is quick to warm me up again with his hands. His hands on my bare skin feel amazing, but what’s even more amazing is when he slowly starts kissing down my neck again.

I already feel ready to combust when he starts to make his way down my chest. I’m having trouble actually believing that this is happening. Is it a one-time thing? A casual hookup? Or is there a possibility of something more? I really hope this isn’t just for the night, I want there to be so much more.

And not just more in regards to feelings, but right now I need more of Simon. Despite relishing in the attention he’s giving me (my body, specifically) I want to see _him_ , I want to feel _him_.

I take hold of his neck and direct him upwards. He looks confused, almost hurt, but then I quickly move my hands to the hem of his shirt and I meet his gaze. Simon doesn’t answer, he just lifts his arms and seconds later I can _see_ him.

Merlin, Morgana, and Methuselah, he is a sight to behold.

His moles and freckles spread down over his chest in a sporadic manner and I have the urge to kiss every single one, so I do. Simon gasps each time and it fuels me to continue. He’s so warm and his skin is so soft (I did not anticipate that) and suddenly, his hand is in my hair. Before I know it I’m on my knees (not because of his hand, I guess more so by instinct?) and I feel a sudden pang of nervousness in my chest.

My lips reach the top of his waistband and I hear his breath hitch and I decide that today will be the day that I give my first blowjob. How hard can it be?

When I start to unzip Simon’s jeans I almost hear his head snap down and our eyes meet. He doesn’t stop me, (I make sure to go really slow as to give him the opportunity to, he doesn’t) and I take that as he’s okay with this. I hope so, otherwise, this is not going to go well.

His jeans are tight but I manage to pull them down to his thighs. His thighs are just as lovely and sprinkled with moles as his chest and I kiss them, too. I feel motivated by how there’s a slight quiver running through his thighs. Is he nervous? Excited? I don’t know, maybe both.

Finally, I let myself focus on what’s really important. His grey boxers are tented (impressively, I might add) and my whole body pulsates at the sight of the darker wet spot on them. I lick my lips without thinking of it before looking up once again to find Simon staring down at me.

His blue eyes are several shades darker than usual and his pupils are blown and it makes me shiver again. I open my mouth but no words come out at first. It takes an embarrassingly long time before I manage to choke out “Can I-May I-?” As it turns out I don’t need to finish my question before Simon nods enthusiastically, enough for his curls to fall over his face.

I can’t help but smile and my heart swells when he smiles back at me, timidly. Then my eyes once again drift downwards and my pulse picks up it pace. My fingers gently trace the waistband of his boxers and I see the goosebumps forming on his tawny skin and I have trouble believing that I’m the reason for his reactions. 

As I, carefully, start to remove his boxers I still have a hard time believing that this is happening, for some reason, I never thought I would ever get to do anything like this, especially not with someone as gorgeous as Simon.

I almost gasp at the sight as his boxers are flush with the jeans below his thighs. His cock is _big_ , much bigger than I had anticipated. It feels weird to describe someone’s genitalia as beautiful but I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s standing tall with veins and a dark, flushed crown and it’s actually making me salivate.

Wow, I truly am 1000% gay. 

When I look up Simon’s face is a dark red color and his mouth is hanging open. He looks so beautiful.

“You, you don’t, uhm, have to-” He starts to stammer out, and I silence him by leaning forward and licking his cock all the way from the base up to the very tip and Simon makes a choking noise. It spurs me on, and I do the same thing again. He groans, deep and loud and I feel my jeans become increasingly uncomfortable.

Crowley, I truly am living a charmed life.


	9. SIMON

**SIMON**

How is this my life?

The vision before me is hard to comprehend. Baz is currently down on his knees in front of me with his pretty mouth stretched wide, now dark pink from the strain, around my dick. His steely gaze is locked on me and I must look a fool. 

I am sure my blush is covering my entire face and neck if not all the way down my chest and my jaw is slack. I have fooled around and such before, but I’ve never received a blow job. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think it could feel this good.

It’s only been a few seconds, maybe almost a minute, but my legs are already shaking. It’s so good that I wonder if Baz has done this before, he must’ve, right? He was great at kissing too, and suddenly I feel a pang of jealousy in my chest when realizing that he’s probably been with more than a few guys.

He’s too gorgeous to not have been.

I try to think about things that would normally turn me off in hopes of lasting longer because right now I feel as if I could blow any minute. Baz is sort of bobbing his head up and down and I can see how he’s hollowed his cheeks and he does something with his tongue that makes me see stars. 

When he stops (rather abruptly, I might add) I fear that something's wrong, maybe I accidentally snapped my hips forward? (That would be so embarrassing.) 

He stands up slowly and I shouldn’t find it so attractive to see his swollen lips and saliva on his chin, but I do.

“Jeans,” he pants out and his cheeks redden. It takes me a second to realize that he means _my_ jeans and I look down to see them pooling by my knees. When I connect the dots I frantically try to remove my jeans and pants and almost fall over in the process (pathetic).

“Bed?” He says and I somehow find it incredibly arousing that his usually long and perfect sentences have been (presumably temporarily) replaced by single words and I hope it’s from him being turned on.

I answer by moving to his bed, since it’s the one closest to us, and slowly lay down only to prop myself up on my elbows. I feel incredibly exposed laying naked in front of Baz, but when I see him looking me up and down with eyes almost black from his dilated pupils I relax ever so slightly.

I almost come when he starts to unzip his own jeans.

He only removes the jeans and not his pants (I’m not going to lie, I really wanted him to take it all off) but that sight alone has me breathing harder and my dick twitching.

His pants are tented and I have a hard time not staring. It’s also hard to not stare at literally any other part of his body. He looks incredibly smooth all over (Has he shaved everything?) and it’s making my fingers itch. His hair is messier than usual and his usually almost blank features are gone, replaced by an open mouth and glossy eyes. I’ve never seen such a beautiful man, or even person, before. I tell him.

“You’re beautiful.”

He looks shocked and for a second he just stands there, not saying or doing anything and I wonder if I went too far.

Seconds later he’s on me again kissing me even harder than before, so maybe it wasn’t too much, maybe it was just right.

My breath hitches again when he goes down and takes my cock in his mouth. Somehow it feels even better now than before, or maybe it’s just so good because it’s Baz.

I can’t help myself from slowly carding my fingers through his black hair and I shiver from how smooth it is (it feels like silk). When he suddenly sinks down to the base and I feel his tongue at the same time I accidentally pull his hair. I open my mouth to apologize, but before I have the time to Baz lets out his loudest moan yet.

Oh, this is new.

Baz’s face is entirely red but he hasn’t removed his mouth from around my dick and it’s my turn to moan as he hollows his cheeks and sucks harder before paying extra attention to the crown and I feel as if I’m about to pass out. It doesn’t make me forget about what just happened, though, and I make sure to pay his hair extra attention by pulling on it again, this time harder. Baz actually moans enough for the vibrations to reach my dick and then it’s over for me.

I don’t even have time to warn Baz before I’m coming, harder than I think I ever have before, and my whole body is shaking. Baz seems surprised, but to _my_ surprise he doesn’t back away. Instead he keeps at it until I slump back onto his pillows and I actually see him lick my cock clean. If I hadn’t just finished that sight alone is enough to make me feel ready to be hard again.

Baz sits on his knees and he licks his now cherry red lips and I can’t believe how lucky I am. I don’t want to be the only lucky one, though.

I muster every last bit of energy I have in me to sit up and I snake my hand around his neck and pull him closer to me. I don’t even care that his mouth was just around my dick, (I don’t even think I mind that at all) I just have to kiss him. So I do.

It’s less heated than before, more lazy (if that’s a way you can describe a kiss) but it feels so real. It’s incredible.

I don’t return back to reality until I feel his erection pressing up against me and I realize that Baz hasn’t finished yet and I feel so selfish. I don’t know how to go about it gracefully so I keep the kiss going while I try to figure out what to do. 

I carefully move my hands over his body making sure to touch everywhere I can reach (I have this weird desire to just fondle him everywhere and I feel kind of creepy) and I start to kiss his jaw. Baz threads his fingers through my hair softly and I can’t help but smile into his skin.

I try not to rush but I’m so full of nervous energy and maybe even adrenaline that I make my way down faster than before. Soon I think Baz gets the picture because he gracefully lays down with his messy hair on the pillow where I lay moments before. He, just like I did, props himself up on his elbows and stares at me with his penetrating stare and I feel even more eager to begin.

I definitely feel some performance anxiety after having received what I would describe as an unbelievably good blowjob, but I’m also just so eager to please that I can’t wait any longer to start. I never thought I would be this excited to suck dick but here I am practically salivating by the mere thought of Baz’s cock in my mouth.

“Okay?” I ask and Baz licks his lips. “Yeah.”

My heart is beating too fast to actually be healthy but I couldn’t care less. Instead, I focus on the marvelous sight before me - Baz’s cock. It’s standing tall and proud, he’s not bigger than me but it’s longer. I worry I won’t be able to take him all in my mouth, but I’ll have to try. I really want to try.

As soon as my mouth makes contact with his dick Baz’s hands are in my hair and he moans softly and I feel spurred to continue. It feels awkward at first, I’m not really a natural it seems, but I won’t give up. Instead, I try mimicking what Baz did to me, and it actually seems to work. I bob my head slowly, I guess to get used to the feeling. The taste isn’t what I expected, but I don’t mind it. I guess I like it because it’s Baz. 

I didn’t expect Baz to come as soon as my tongue got involved either, but suddenly he chokes out a strangled “I’m-uh co-” and before I know it he’s coming down my throat. I do choke a little bit and I feel a bit embarrassed but I don’t have time to say anything as I do my best to give him the royal treatment he gave me by licking up every last drop. 

“Sorry, I’m so, so sorry, Simon, shit, I’m sorry,” Baz hurries to sputter out and I can’t help but smile when I sit on my knees. My jaw is hurting and my lips feel kind of raw, but I still feel somewhat accomplished.

“Don’t be,” I say and I don’t give myself time to reflect over the raspiness now present in my voice. I position myself over him and I capture his still pink lips in another slow kiss and my body tingles when he moans softly. 

I am truly blessed.


	10. BAZ

**BAZ**

He kisses me so tenderly that my heart flutters even though the rest of my body is completely slack. I almost forget about the fact that were both fully naked until I feel his skin up against mine and it feels so good. 

I don’t really know how or when but I end up laying with my head in the crook of his neck and his arm under me. His thumb is stroking my arm up and down softly and his breathing is slow. I don’t know who decided to pull the duvet over us or if it was unanimous but now we’re here, together, tucked into bed with his arm around me. It’s too good to be true.

“I’ve never done that before,” Simon murmurs into my hair and I furrow my brows. How has someone that looks like him and has his amazing personality not done that or something like that before? “Me neither,” I say instead of prodding further. Simon snorts above me and my cheeks redden. 

“How is that possible? I mean, look at you,” He says and swipes the pad of his thumb over my cheek. “I could say the same about you, it doesn’t make any sense,” I say quietly. I can feel him smile into my hair and it feels so nice, I can’t describe it.

“I thought I would be scared, but I wasn’t. Mostly nervous, to be honest. Was it bad?” At this I leave my comfortable pose to raise myself up so I can look at him. “Bad? Are you delusional? I came in under 60 seconds, that’s bad,” I say and I feel myself flush even darker. So embarrassing. 

Simon just smiles lazily. “I had to think about things that would turn me off to last longer, otherwise the fun would have been over way too fast.” This makes me smile and feel a bit better, but I still feel so incredibly pathetic. I don’t tell him.

“Well, it was fun,” I say even though it was so much more than fun. Sure, exhilarating and exciting but it felt like much more to me and I wonder if it felt, feels, like more to him. I don’t have the nerve to ask so instead I lay down again and tuck my head into the crook of his neck again and then he kisses the top of my head. It makes my heart swell.

“Maybe we could do it again?” he asks quietly and now my heart flips. But does he mean more than just sex, or just sex? I don’t mind just sex in theory, but (I hate to admit it) I am a hopeless romantic and Simon feels like he could be more than just someone I have sex with a couple of times. I want for him, for us, to be more.

”Yes,” I say quietly. My mind is preoccupied by thoughts of whether or not any of this meant anything to him at all. I can only hope it did, because it meant something to me. 

As per usual, I don’t have the nerve to ask him upfront. Instead I relish in the way his thumb strokes my arm and the warmth emitting from his body and his breath in my hair. I let my eyes fall shut and I listen to his even breaths. I almost misses when he whispers quietly into my hair.

“I hope so.”

Not long after Simon begins to snore, and like a lullaby it lulls me to sleep.

When my eyes open again it’s because of the sunlight streaming in and painting the room in a soft yellow light. My eyelids are still heavy with sleep, but I still manage to register the body that is beside (below?) me. The cover is barely on any part of Simon by now and his tawny skin is almost fully on display. My mouth goes dry at the sight. 

His skin looks more golden in the morning sun than ever and I don’t know if I’m allowed to touch him still. That being said, his arm is still tucked in under me and my face was just resting on top of his chest. I sit up fully and look down on the adonis laying beside me and I feel cramps in my chest and butterflies ( _butterflies_ ) in my stomach.

Once again his mouth his hanging open, slack jaw and pink lips. He’s still snoring and he has spread out more during the night. All of this might be off-putting to some, but I find it awfully endearing. Everything about him is captivating.

I truly sound pathetic, but I really don’t care.

As carefully as I can I get off the bed and to my delight Simon doesn’t budge in the slightest. He almost looks dead, but the snoring is kind of a give-away.

I tip-toe over to the bathroom and slowly close the door behind me. It takes a minute for me to collect myself but I try to suffocate the butterflies until they are forced to sleep for the time being and to tell my heart to stop being a bitch. The water is cold as it runs over me but it’s just what I need. It makes me shiver, but it wakes me up enough to think straight but my body still craves coffee. 

I do have a strict regimen regarding hair and skin, and it takes me some time to finish it all without staying in the bathroom for too long. Thankfully Simon is more the type to wake up and go type which means I don’t have to get up as early as I once thought to not be in his way. He doesn’t have much of a morning routine, really.

I try to towel dry my hair as much as possible but I don’t want to wake Simon up by using a blow dryer. I prefer for it to air dry, but I was hoping to get back into bed without waking him.

I even take the time to brush my teeth quickly before I decide that I’m fresh enough the return to bed. Luckily Simon looks just as dead as when I left him, and I take the opportunity to slowly lay down with him again. I even manage to put the cover over us both.

I only get to enjoy the moment for a couple of minutes before I feel Simon move under me. I am instantly filled with anxiety and dread - does he regret yesterday? Does he want me romantically? Or maybe just physically? Possibly not even at all.

That dread is replaced by a warm fuzzy feeling when I feel Simon tighten his arm around me and him nuzzling into my hair with his face. 

“You smell nice,” Simon mumbles with the absolute hottest low and sensual morning voice I’ve ever heard. “D’you shower?” He asks and I make a humming noise in response. 

”Could’ve joined,” Simon says with a yawn as his hand travels over my body without hesitation. My skin feels burning hot after he has touched it, but it’s the kind of burn you crave.

“Didn’t want to wake you,” I say and turn to lay on my side. His eyes are still closed but there’s a smile on his lips. I want to kiss him. I do.

He kisses me just as tenderly as last night and I wonder what it means.

When we separate he opens his eyes, eyelids still heavy with sleep, but the ordinary blue is highlighted by the sun. I don’t think I could ever get tired of looking at him. 

“Do you wanna hang out today?” 

The question catches me off guard and I open and close my mouth like a brainless fish. Hang out? Like a date? Or like friends?

“We don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” Simon sounds disappointed but his gaze doesn’t break from mine. “No, I mean yes, I do, I want to hang out,” I stammer out and feel my cheeks flush. I really need to put an end to this continuous blushing, it’s embarrassing and simply pathetic. 

“Yay!” Simon exclaims (in a very childlike manner) before peppering kisses over my entire face. I can’t stop the laughing from bubbling out as I beg him to stop. “I’m sorry I can’t help it,” he whispers before kissing my lips instead of everywhere else. I kiss him back.

It takes us a long time before we get out of bed, but once we do Simon decides that he too is in need of a shower and disappears to the bathroom. 

I decide to try and dress myself, but as I stand in black jeans in front of my dresser I have no idea what to actually wear. The jeans are a shoe-in but will a shirt be too formal? Or a cardigan too casual? I have no idea what we’re actually supposed to do today, therefore deciding on an outfit is impossible.

I am so focused that I don’t register how the water is no longer running or the footsteps padding across the floor. When Simon lays his arms around my waist I jump.

The laugh that escapes his lips is music to my ear. He sounds so genuinely amused, and even though it was on my expense I can’t help but laugh, too.

“I really like your laugh,” Simon whispers in my ear before kissing me on the cheek. My stomach flips.

“Likewise, Snow,” I say and I feel him smile into my hair. “You just can’t let that go, can you?” I smile. “Never.”

“What are you doing anyways?” He says before moving to lay down on my bed. I turn around and see him only wearing a towel, a sight that almost makes me want to skip the public hanging out and just stay in our room all day.

“I’m trying to decide on what to wear.” Simon hums, as if in deep thought. “I think you look best without clothes, but I don’t think it’ll help,” he says and I almost choke on air. Is he determined to embarrass me?

“Simon!” 

He laughs again. I think I might be falling for him. 

“What I mean is that you would look good in anything.” He’s better with words than I thought. He’s just as sweet as I’d hoped.

I finally decide to wear a tasteful, knitted turtleneck. Hopefully the cool grey compliments my eyes. I pull it over my head as Simon moves across the room to start putting some clothes on (what a pity).

I move to the bathroom and relish in the smell of his body wash as I try to make my hair look presentable now that it’s dried. Thankfully it doesn’t take too long since I’ve done it so many times before, I don’t want to come across as vain (even though I probably am).

When I leave the bathroom Simon stands before me, torn jeans and white t-shirt snug on his body. He looks delicious. He pulls on a hoodie and jean jacket and looks at me with a smile brighter than the sun.

“You ready?” He asks me as he comes across the room to stand in front of me. I reach for my coat that’s currently resting on my desk chair (I’m turning into a slob) before looking at the curly haired boy in front of me. My heart is stuttering.

“Where are we going?” Simon holds out his hand.

“It’s a surprise.”

My heart might stop.

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm not the first to write about Simon and Baz going to uni but I just really wanted to write about them and this was the easiest way to do so without trying to be more creative than I am. :/


End file.
